Friday, 04 April 2008

• Pow! (The Sound of Bubble Bursting)

  Just got my Income Tax back ("Visions of sugar plums danced in my head"...let's see...all the things I could do...Then,"Pop!" In the wee hours on the way to work our van caught on fire. My spouse was safe and there was no accident, thankfully. He was just stranded and our transportation was way-laid, expired along the roadway. After he called I tried for an all night tow. No way. By the time I got a response, the city had impounded it. Then I had  to bring the dead soldier home on a big flatbed to the tune of $178.00. First I had to pay the police tow, too. So far, that's two tows. Before my very eyes, my dream money started to smolder, too, up in smoke.  That's when the rental car bomb started to tick. Now we started bleeding dollars by the day!
  
  As they say, we didn't just come here on a potato truck...we were driving. So our next move was to stop the hemorrhaging by picking up a used car.. We cruised the malls looking for signs. We called a lot of answering machines to no avail. We asked around. Nothing. We bought little papers, "The Auto Trader", The Scoop"," The Trading Post", "The Sunday Dayton Daily". Allow me to enlighten you if you have never conducted such a search, there is a code to the advertisements.
  
  Code for Car Ads
  

  • Call Kevin for mechanical history. (This beauty has been in the shop more times than in the driveway.)
  • Mechanics Special: Make one car out of two. (Could not be separated at the crash site.)
  • Buy here, pay here...(for the rest of your life.)
  • Keyless ( lost them.)
  • Loaded (cat caught in engine for two weeks.)
  • Tow packed (towed more than driven)
  • Rear spoiler (comes with mother-in law) Sorry, couldn't resist.
  • Cloth interior (Indian blankets covering tears.)
  • Kelly BB (Jack Kelly's retired rent a heap.)
  • Great engine (needs body...badly.)
  • Really good mileage (If you and six buddies push really fast.)
  • Needs some work (It's a hoopty.)
  • Easy on gas (it doesn't start.)
  • Lots of new parts ( totally rebuilt engine.)
  • Fourteen thousand miles (turned back 5 times)
  • Clean, like new (been repainted after wreck.)
  • Genuine faux leather interior (plastic)
  • Rebuilt as needed ( all the time.)
  • No rust, high miles (Bondo-ed finish)
  • Needs engine coupler and mounts (and engine.)
  • Air-conditioned ( Sun roof won't close all the way, needs umbrella!)

  So, weeks later, with barely enough left to buy a newspaper, my brother-in-law sends over his hundred dollar mechanic. (Not that I'm not grateful, mind you.) But now, having driven the bright red spanking brand new little Cobalt which barely sips gas, our eyes are opened. We need a new car.. Our gaze has the wild, far away look like the madman in the commercial who says, "War kittens!?!" We look at each other and simultaneously chant "New car!" We commence another prowl...hmmm...that May rebate from Uncle Sam will make the start of a nice down payment!
  
  
  

  • 2:19 PM
  • 346 Views
  • 32 eProps
  • 18 Comments