Now, I'm not saying that I'm totally slow on the uptake but, as I have said, my daughter CynaraJane sucked all my technical and mechanical abilities out of me as she traversed the passage to the bright light of the world. A while ago I simply wanted to print out fast food coupons. I really wanted a Reuben. I innocently typed in the simple address. Then hell-hounds bounded from my computer. Wham! my screen glazed over like a drunk's eyes on a three day bender. It froze, its turquoise circle whirling like a dancing dervish.
"No, no, no," I spat through gritted teeth.
I called upon all techno angels and computer savvy persons known to me. Nothing. "I "alt, control, deleted "and " alt f4'd" all over the place. I "x"'d out of everything. Nothing worked. It was hung by its own petard. With a groan I did the only thing that appeared on the screen of my "old-school" mind...I called on authority. Yes, I called upon tech support. Someone who spoke s language unknown to me as English answered after fully 30 minutes of advertising and "yes, no, yeses." Finally I was informed that I was five days out of warranty. I was directed to e-mail $49 for 2 weeks extension or $99 for a year's. Now mind you, if it were a software problem they would promise nothing, but if it were hardware, they would absolutely promise and categorically state that they would
do nothing at all and assuredly that would be within the next 6 hours.
Finally I fully engaged my own thought processes and decided to try the most dangerous ploy of all. I shut off my computer, since nothing else would respond. Nor would it shut down. When in doubt, I would do what any modern elder would do...I called a grandchild. They are fluent in the tongue of any modern invention. She was in a movie theater. No help.
She said, "It's frozen."
"I know," I quipped, "that is the problem in its perfection."
"Shut it off," she replied.
"Thanks, enjoy the movie, " I returned, as she was being shushed.
As a last resort, I called my alter-ego, my precious daughter,CJ.
"Unplug it," she commanded.
"But won't that disconnect me from the Internet Universe and make all my software melt and send Rumpelstiltskin to confiscate you on a long over due debt?" I whimpered.
"Unplug it."
So, as I whistle a happy tune, I type this message to you all. Though I may never be more computer literate than I am today, I will keep trying. like my Mother before me who could type 90 wpm on an electric typewriter, when the computer came along she was put off. Though she could make the keys sing, she would jam every manual, twisting the key arms like a wrestler. She claimed that she could not tolerate the keyboard. There wasn't the proper resistance and no click. For me, there certainly is no click, anxiety wells up in me like a gusher of oil . Whenever I try something new on this cross between a TV and a typewriter, I feel as if calamity is sure to follow.
In the meantime, I will struggle through, armed with but one key phrase, I leave you with this sage advice told to me on some far away mountaintop, if all else fails: twirl 10 times, spit over you left shoulder, bite your lip, close your eyes ...and just unplug it!
Comments (17)
LOL...I don't want Rumpelstiltskin to come and get me! NooOOoOOoO!!!!1!
Unplug it! Genius. The last time my computer froze I kicked a hole right through my computer tower and threw it in the trash. I love CJ. She's helped me with more computer questions than everyone ele combined.
Forgive the old joke:
A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer, and a software engineer are in a car that breaks down.
The mechanical engineer says: ''Maybe is's a stuck valve''.
The electical engineer says: ''Maybe it's a dead battery''.
The software engineer says: ''I know. Let's all get out and get back in again, and see if that fixes it'
Incredible how often that works with all of these fangles that are supposed to be new. You write so wonderfully we're all secretly happy for your misfortune (but I wouldn't wish it on you
Far_Skies told me she spoke to you of your issue, but I was off procuring delectable edibles for us to consume and was unaware of this.....and 5 days out of warranty? Oh how the technology mocks us.......we need it, but, it's all about the warranty and unplugging it.... **shakes fist at Bill Gates** (Glad to hear you are back online though).....
ryc - You have to post and comment frequently...and then apply for it (click on my TRUE badge to find out how to do that).
glad to see that you back up and running.
How I love the way you "dignify the trial"! You bless me sister. Thanks so much for your comments, too. I do look forward to seeing your icon in my comments! Have a wonderful day and may His blessings abound for you today!
Thanks for dropping by...so how could you be the mother of Lisa... that would make you pretty old.. and I know you are not that old.
Hugs, Tricia
@pray14me - Gosh, Tricia, I'm not all that old! Without coming right out and saying how old my mother is, I will just say that I am 43...and my mother had me when she was 21.
See, she nearly a mere child when she had me. Well, in the scheme of things at least.
@pray14me - Wow.....I know this may have been unintentional, but it made it sound like Lisa is old as sin itself which makes MotherOPearl close friends with Moses......which, I can assure you, is *NOT* the case. Both ladies are younger looking than initial thoughts may make them.......
@pctoolbin - LOL, to be fair I think Tricia is being funny. She and I are good Xanga friends. I have to rib her about it. But, I appreciate you coming to my defense with such a nice compliment!
@CynaraJane - Oh, I do apologize if I jumped into the middle of an inside joke.......but....in *ALL HONESTY*.....you and your mother are *NOT* ladies who look older than they are......you both are younger looking and that speaks volumes for the genetics in the family! *wink*
Yes, My Man is like that... he tried to watch a DVD on his puter tonight and when he could not figure it out and I offered to help, he did the man thing and went to bed
... see atleast you are smart and ask for help when needed
Finding nothing but an Email address I did the “man thing” and took it to a local shop to have it repaired.
After getting back online I Emailed the address asking them just how the Sam hell was I suppose to Email them when the hard drive had crashed.
Dell never did respond to that one.
Tricia, as I often tell my sister
Life is a game
Age is a way of keeping score
You’re ahead
this makes me smile. my daughter does not like computers at all. she is the one with the artsy brain. she would push that power button every time someone said to reboot. we had to teach her how to actually shutdown via windows. LOL! i'm really glad you are back in our world again!
Glad you are back and functioning again... I'm not a fan of car or computer issues.
This is hilarious. When I get all locked up on my home computer. I just turn it off or unplug it. Not because I think it's the right way to do it, but because I just can't take it anymore and want it OFF and then we start over like we've made up after a fight or something.